fitscapades

Karmic Cleanup: How I Stopped Attracting Disasters

• michelle • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Ever wondered why some people seem trapped in endless cycles of bad luck while others effortlessly attract good fortune? In this deeply personal episode, Michelle opens up about her transformative journey from addiction recovery to discovering the power of energy work and karmic patterns.

Michelle reveals how merely getting clean wasn't enough to change her life trajectory - she continued experiencing disasters and unhappiness until she addressed the underlying energetic patterns driving these experiences. Through Buddhist concepts of karmic imprints and practical daily techniques, she discovered how to break free from destructive cycles.

The podcast offers powerful insights into how our projected energy creates our reality. Michelle shares vulnerable stories about financial fears dissolving into unexpected abundance, difficult relationships transforming through intentional energy work, and how forgiveness - both of others and herself - became the cornerstone of her transformation. She even recounts her initially skeptical visit to a spiritual healer that produced undeniable results.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is its blend of spiritual concepts with practical, actionable techniques anyone can implement. Learn how to identify emotional triggers as they arise, conduct daily reflective practices, change limiting inner conversations, and consciously project positive energy before challenging interactions. Michelle explains how these practices helped transform her relationships, finances, and overall well-being.

Whether you're seeking to understand why the same patterns keep appearing in your life or looking for practical ways to shift your energy and transform your circumstances, this episode offers both inspiration and concrete tools to begin your own journey of karmic transformation. Listen now to discover how you can shift from simply reacting to actively creating the energy patterns that shape your life.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome back to Fitz Capades. My name is Michelle and I'm a recovered addict. So are you the type of person that keeps having the same bad things happen to you over and over again? Or are you the sort of person that just attracts bad things to happen to you all the time and you're unhappy? And how about those people that everything they seem to touch turns to gold, like they have all the good luck in the world, nothing bad ever seems to happen to them. Why is that? And how can you change your trajectory from being one of disaster going to disaster to you know, praying in cars, to you name it? It happened to me.

Speaker 1:

Then I went into recovery and bad things just kept on happening, like I was completely straight as a die and I crashed and rode off a car and all these sort of disasters just started happening and I was really still very unhappy in life. And then, I guess, in my final state well, not final, I guess in the later stages of recovery, I really did a lot of work and shifted the um, the way the vibrations I guess that I was putting out shifted my energies from being, uh, one of resentment um to forgiveness. So I forgave my parents for a lot of things and I was just putting love out into the universe and things just seemed to shift. And from then on, ever since, I stopped sort of being resentful and hating on people and forgiving people and let go of a lot of my anger, a lot like only good things have happened. For instance, to name one example, I hadn't done my taxes for like 15 years and I had them done. My dad helped me get them done and like, yeah, this year, like I was just checking my bank account and I had like 50 grand extra in there and it was like my, my tax returns coming through, you know, and like I've been so scared for years and years that you know I was going to owe money and then, all of a sudden, even this really bad thing that I'd lost so much sleep over, it bought me good fortune and then I got more money later on from subsequent years. So it's just crazy. It just seems right now like no matter what I touch, good things happen to me.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I wanted to discuss karma and karmic imprints and how I think that they are really important in determining your destiny. So a lot of people think of karma as like punishment, you know, like a judgmental sort of idea whereby if you do something bad, you know you're going to get something bad happen to back. But it's not like that. It's very impartial and not at all judgmental. So all it is is, whatever energy that you vibrate out into the universe is what energy will come back to you, which kind of makes sense, you know. So, um, we will put out a certain level of energy, certain type of energy, um, and that's perceived by other people, you know. And so if you're all resentful and angry, then you put that out into the universe. That's what you'll get back. You know, it's as simple as that.

Speaker 1:

So, like for me, working the steps or, you know, doing a lot of the work that I did on my own, it taught me how to release the resentments and take accountability for things, and that was where a huge shift in my life came, when I did a lot of shadow work and looked at all the undesirable things about myself. That's when things started to shift and when I realised that I could control my emotions and I could decide how I behaved in certain situations. That was a massive shift and it's changed the course of my life as well. But what I'm up against now, like I was sitting there the other day and I was like you know what? I know all of this stuff about how to behave and how to be a higher person and everything, but I'm sitting with some discomfort with myself and I'm not really happy with my day. Like I feel this feeling of tightness in my throat and the feeling that I'm stuck and there's points in my day when I know I could have done things differently. Or you know, like I'm not happy with the way I dealt with that situation. You know, and I sort of felt stuck and I came across this uh, like YouTube video and it was all about karmic imprints and um and doing karmic cleansing and it really resonated with me.

Speaker 1:

So basically, even though you can start to just resonate love out into the universe and good, positive vibes and not not hate on anyone, and that's all good, you've also got this thing called karmic imprints, which is like the energy that's stuck to you from past actions, and they also can make you stuck in a loop. So when you're when the same recurring bad things happen to you, you're stuck in this loop. You know, and it's either because of yeah, the karmic imprints and these fears. So you know, say, if it's something like with money, you know you're like I'm worried that I'm going to spend all my money and be left with nothing. And then you know, lo and behold, you feel that fear and it becomes a cycle of bad things happening.

Speaker 1:

So the other thing, too, is karmic imprints come in the form of like if you during the day, if, if someone or a situation strikes up within you a really strong emotion like anger or frustration or irritation, um, that is due to a karmic imprint and it's within yourself. It's nothing to do with the other person often. So like, for instance, my son, he has autism, right, and um, he, I will ask him to do something and he won't listen, he won't do it, and I become really angry. It makes me really angry. You know what I mean, and this was one of the stumbling blocks that I was really challenged by, because I didn't like the way that I was responding. But it was like I was, that was my automatic response and um, so like, after watching this video, it's like really interesting. I was like, okay, well, I need to examine why exactly that's making me angry. And I was, and then I realized that what it was was that, you know, I was too absorbed in whatever task I was doing and I just wanted him to do whatever I needed him to do quickly, so I could get back to what I was doing. And I realized that that wasn't really cool because, you know, I should be putting time into my son and I should be putting him ahead of whatever task I'm doing. And so, you know, perhaps responding to his disobedience with a more like patient you know response or, you know, taking the time to have a bit of fun with him as well, that was, you know, a much better way to respond. That's putting him ahead of my needs.

Speaker 1:

And so what the Buddhist teachings tell you is that you can actually you can erase these karmic imprints so that you don't feel anger and you're not irritated at these sort of inflammatory events that happen by firstly going about your day and then, when you notice that there's an emotion welling up in you, you pause and you take impartial observation and you go that's really interesting that I'm having this reaction. And at the time you say to yourself you know, why is it that this is happening? Why am I feeling angry or sad or whatever you're feeling? Why is that? And then you tell yourself well, I can choose how I react to this situation, and sometimes you might find the reason and you might find a better way to react, and sometimes you don't.

Speaker 1:

Then you go about your day but at the end of the day, as you're going off to sleep, you should reflect on every interaction that you've had. That you remember, obviously, and you know, because sometimes obviously we become emotional and we can't catch it and you think about anything that's irritated. You, in the day and again, do that exploration and think well, you know how, why is it that I behave in that way? How would I like to behave? And you really sort of do some shadowy work around it. And then at the end of that exercise you say to yourself I hope I might, I will have the strength tomorrow to, you know, act in the best way that I can to be my ideal person. And then you go to sleep and then you start the next day with that aim in mind and like apparently the important thing is that you do this every day for like 21 days, because they say that's the amount of time it takes to change your natural nervous systems processing and you can actually shift these karmic imprints so that you behave, react to certain situations in a in a, in a more more positive way. Um, yeah, the other.

Speaker 1:

So the other thing is, you know, you know you might have certain fears or certain. You know, like you're worried that the same mistake's going to happen again, like you're worried, oh, I'm going to crash my car again, or you know, I'm going to become broke again or whatever. And so the way to short circuit that is to change your inner conversations around it. To change your inner conversations around it, so like, if you've got a worry that comes up, you pause and you reflect on it and you're like that's a perfect thought to be having right now. You know. And then you think about it and you really dissect it and say, well, how am I going to make this all go differently? You know, or maybe you're in a different situation and you just tell yourself, well, this is not going to happen and I'm safe and okay, you know.

Speaker 1:

So like for me, for instance, um, I was talking to my dad and he was talking about being stressed about like financials and stuff like that, and he was like you know, michelle, because I want to be able to give you the biggest inheritance that I can, or whatever. And I said to him, said, dad, I'm going to be okay. And like in that moment I really knew that I was going to, I'm going to be okay and I'm going to be okay like none of this fear about. You know well, for me a fear is that because I'm a terrible like internet shopper and stuff, and obviously before all of this, like I used to blow all my money on drugs and then I got some money and a nice payout from my super and an insurance payout, and I had this fear, you know, that I was going to spend it all and and and fuck it up again. And it wasn't until I did this work and I was like, yeah, no, I'm not, you know I'm, I'm not going to do that and I'm going to be okay. That. And then all the tax you know, the tax money started to come in as well and I was like I'm going to be okay.

Speaker 1:

You know, and I know this now you know, within my heart I know that I'm going to be okay. And I said to him dad, I'm going to be okay, like you don't need to worry about me, you know. I said like I've almost lost, you guys, um, you know, through my circumstance, like you know, I mean I almost died, but then, you know, we didn't talk for a long time and now I've got this great relationship back with you and mum and I said I don't want to say goodbye to either of you, I don't want you to die. And I said look after yourself. If you've got to spend money to be comfortable, please do this. Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. I'd rather see you alive for a few more years than worry yourself into an early grave. But in that moment I was like I knew that I'm going to be okay. You know, that's almost like that fear had been, had disappeared, you know, from from from me, and I reflected on that. It was kind of wild really. It's probably, and it's probably one of the reasons why, um, I've had so much good financial fortune is because that fear is gone. I know I'm going to be okay and I've, I've gotten out of that cycle of of getting money and spending it all going broke, and and then you know, like things have levelled out in that respect.

Speaker 1:

The other thing that's really important is self-forgiveness. So, like you know, if you can't forgive yourself for something that you've done, then you know you're going to carry around that self-resentment and, like you know, oh my God, I'm an idiot, whatever and again you hang on to that karmic energy. So say, at the end of the day, when you're reflecting on when you could have behaved better or done things better, you also make a conscious effort to forgive yourself. Because harboring self resentment is, you know, also bad. You've got to radiate bad energy and and and attract bad karmic energy back and and you know your life is not going to be as happy as it could be. So that's another really important thing. So it's like you, like I've forgiven myself for a lot of stuff, um, and forgiveness is like you forgive, you let go of that self-hatred and you understand why you might have done certain things, and there's compassion there and you forgive that. And so it's like on my social media, when people call me a junkie or whatever and they try and shame me for what I once was, you know that rolls off me like water off a duck's back, because I've already forgiven myself for that, you know, and I won't be shamed for that. You know I've already forgiven myself and so you know that sort of comment really doesn't hurt me, you know. That sort of comment really doesn't hurt me, you know. So that's really important is self-forgiveness as well as forgiveness of others, you know, and that helps to remove the karmic imprints as well.

Speaker 1:

Another exercise that I do, too, is if, before you know, I used to be the sort of person that was quite abrasive or quite like I felt awkward in social circumstances, like you know, people just didn't seem to like me, and I mean that's probably because I was putting out some pretty gnarly energy. People can pick up on that, you know. And so what you do is, before you go to a certain place or whatever, you think of all the people that you're going to see, and even the people that might be irritating to you, and you close your eyes and send, like light energy, loving energy towards them. You know, like. So the way I do is I visualize a bright, bright torch coming out of my chest, you know, and I feel love and compassion for the people that I'm about to meet, and then, when I turn up to that place, I find that everyone's a bit more calmer and I'm more well received. You can't, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I myself I can feel energy that I'm pushing out. If I. I it's hard to explain, but, but you can feel it in your body, like, for instance, the dog. You know we've got a dog here and she gets quite excited and like sometimes I wanted to calm down, so I just put my hand on her head and I'll close my eyes and I can really feel this force field of real calming energy and I project that as hard as I can into her head and she calms down. You know it's wild, I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy, but I sense these things.

Speaker 1:

So, like today, for instance, I was at the gym where I work and the chick that's on the reception there she's often quite abrasive and never has much to say, or you know, she's like quite grouchy and like you know, you can't really engage her much, and sort of thing. So I stood at the desk and I kind of did the same thing, like I sent this really positive, loving energy out to her and I said something stupid, like oh, it's cold, or it's so cold, it's like, and she really engaged in a conversation with me. So it's quite a powerful skill if you can manage. I know it sounds like a lot of like hoodoo and bullshit, but it actually isn't, you know? Uh, it actually it really works.

Speaker 1:

Like I've put it into practice in many different ways, like when I used to go to CrossFit before I had my operation, before I made dental implants, which I have to go back to CrossFit, there used to be a couple of chicks that really I used to. You know just bad energy between us, like I think it was just competition or competitiveness, so kind of like gold coast barbie dolls, you know, self-righteous, bigger chicks, you know, and they just didn't like me, you know, and you could tell, like just in their attitudes and everything. And like I just started to do the same thing before I went to CrossFit, I would think about those girls and I would project loving energy and you know, and then when I got there, like yeah, I'd get along with them so much better, you know. So this stuff is really really powerful stuff, you know, and if you're getting on with people that you meet every day, then it makes life much more joyous. You know it really does, because although going down a hate sort of track and like you know, like harboring, like bad juju and energy towards someone because you just think, oh, they're a cunt, you know, um it, it just makes you. You come away from those interactions with really gritty, horrible energy, like you just feel bad about yourself. You know, it's like when I used to engage in skirmishes with trolls on Instagram and lower myself to their level and fight back.

Speaker 1:

Like there was one particular day this dude just got under my skin, man, and he was like you know, he was like put your teeth back in, or something like that. And I was like, dude, I've like paid $100,000 to have my teeth fixed. Actually, you know, yes, I had bad teeth, but now I don't, so get fucked. And so I looked at his profile and then I could see his Facebook and I could see, like two years ago he was quite svelte and slender and now he's fat. He was fat and so it looks like you've put on a lot of weight recently. Like when are you going to hit the gym and diet, you know?

Speaker 1:

And then he shot back with something, even nasty, and I just went there's this gritty, dark energy in my day that I just I just it was just really not pleasant at all and I was like, yeah, you know, as delicious as it was to really hurt him back, like at the end of the day I didn't feel any bad. Like for two seconds I sort of thought I felt really smart, you know, I was like it was quite satisfying for two seconds. And then I was left with this gritty, horrible like, like just dirty energy. I just didn't just felt really gross and unsettled. And so then I said to him hey, listen, I'm really sorry, after he goes to me, something like really offensive, like he goes, you're 50 and you're like a meth addict, how embarrassing. And I was like you know, know, I had to sit and process that because I was like, look, firstly, obviously he's having a dig at my appearances, so what you know.

Speaker 1:

But like, I'm not embarrassed, I'm not embarrassed about who I am, you know, like because, because I've conquered that and I I mean, um, you know, I've turned my life around and fuck you. You know, thank you very much. Like what, what have you done? That's been that momentous in the last week? Probably nothing, you know. And I went, no, no, no, no, like that's the wrong way to reply.

Speaker 1:

So I, yeah, I replied to him and said, listen, I'm really sorry, I called you fat, that that was really mean. And, um, I don't want to do that, you know, and I don't want to do that, you know. And I was like, listen, like I forgive you for trolling me. I forgive you, I know that you're probably just not in a happy place and that's why you feel you need to write nasty things on my wall. You know, I'm sorry that you are so unhappy. And listen, you know, I hope you learn how to be a bit more kind. You know, I wish you all the best. You know, I hope you become happier. And, yeah, sending love and good wishes to you, right, and he never responded back and that didn't matter.

Speaker 1:

But I felt a whole lot better after that. And that didn't matter. I wasn't, but I felt a whole lot better after that, just rising above that whole like dirty, dark, nasty, you know, horrible skirmish of. You know I just felt so much better and and that that's where this is also so powerful, because then I didn't take any dark, negative sort of energy along, you know, of self-doubt or anything. I just felt so much lighter, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so even when people are horrible to you, still you project love, you know, and that can be hard to do, like it can be, and we're all human, I'm myself included but I at least now know the theory of how to live a better life. You know, and that is not not to hate back, just to rise above it and let it roll off you. You know, um, it's like the other thing too is, uh, other people that you've been in contact with in your life like, so, you know, like the. We have relationships with different people when they end and we leave them behind. But even people that are at distances from you can affect your energy.

Speaker 1:

So, you know, we, our thoughts, are transmitted out as energy into the universe and you know, if you're thinking about someone, even if they're far away geographically from you, your energy will affect them. You know, most definitely, and so I guess one thing that I used to do when my son was living very far away from me is I would always, often, just think about him and project love out into the universe. So he felt my presence and he knew that I was there and still caring about him. You know, or like, you know, um, like my own partner now. You know, like, if he's somewhere, doing something or whatever, I think about him and how much I appreciate him and I send him love.

Speaker 1:

You know, but there's people that we part ways with too, and they, if they don't, if, if the they don't let go of the karmic contract, you know they don't let go of you they'll come back to haunt you or or, you know, try to affect your energy. And you need to be aware of this too. And the way that I deal with this is to project that love out to the universe and say I look, I loved you, I once loved you, you know, but we must part ways. Now I wish you all the very best and I visualize those karmic bonds and I cut them. And I cut them with a bright light, like this is when I'm meditating or in a, in a meditative state and I cut them. So you off, you go now. You know all the very best to you. You know, and, um, I think sometimes if you do that, they feel that and then you'll get something coming to your present, you know. And again you say you go your own way and I wish you all the very best. I have no resentments, please, but we part ways.

Speaker 1:

You know you're very strong in that resolve that you've ended that contract. You know you don't want that energy in your life anymore. You know, um, it can be tricky but, uh, I'm hoping it works. Sometimes karmic ties just fizzle out because both parties give up on thinking about the other person or whatever. But yeah, sometimes if someone's not willing to let go of that karmic contract because they feel something's owed or something like that, that can be toxic and problematic. So you need to build your own resilience up and not let that energy come into your life. You know, you just shut it down. You're like yep, you're here again. You know, I said I've cut off this tie, I cut it off again. I wish you all the very best. Don't never, ever respond with hate or anything like that. Don't bow down to their level and just say I wish you all the very best, you know and goodbye.

Speaker 1:

Like so where a lot of this stuff like chakras and stuff really started to resonate with me is that, like I was lying in, uh, in bed with my current partner and I was like you know what? I've got some bad energy still with me. Like I, I've got bad, bad energy like from my last relationship. I said like I I fucking if I could do anything just to get rid of it. Like I wish that I could just go to some spiritual healer and have her wave him or her wave of salmon over me and then it just vanishes from my life, you know. And he sort of laughed. So I started to Google it and I found this spiritual healer who's in the hills, a little bit inland from where we are, and like listen, if you would have told me two years ago that I'd go to a spiritual healer, I would have just fucking laughed at you. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

But this so anyway, I contacted this woman. She got back in touch with me and I eventually went to see her and like this shit is real, man, like it really is, so like we had a chat and that. And then, uh, she put me like in a, in a trance, like in a meditative state, really trance like. So I was like semi-conscious, I had all these visions coming into my visual fields, and so she was waving her hands over me and she was like I can feel some really bad energy in you and she's saying that I could feel my throat close over. And this is how I feel when I'm anxious or something's troubling me. I really feel this tightness in my throat is troubling me. I really feel this tightness in my throat and almost like then I get, really, if I'm really stressed, I can't articulate my what's going on in my head, I become really blocked, you know, and I just sort of freeze and um, she was like she goes. I can feel some dark energy and I'm like, yeah, and like, as I say, my throat closed up, she, it's in your throat. I'm like, fuck me, dad, this is some spooky shit, man, like it really was. And then she was like, okay, so she did this thing where she banished the dark energy light from me and I really felt it release, you know, and I felt my throat just not be so closed up and I felt light. I just felt so light and chilled. And so I went home and for the next few days I felt amazing, just really light and like nothing bothered me too much, you know, and just, yeah, really calm and serene, you know, and yeah, like she was amazing, amazing and so like.

Speaker 1:

So now when I go to bed or when I, when I wake up in the morning, sorry, I, I do a scan of my body and I'm like, where are you feeling? You know, this tension, and often it's in my throat, and so, like I'll, I'll imagine this really bright, healing light, just healing away whatever's in that chakra and making it go away. And if I manage to do that, like some days, obviously I wake up my son's waking me up or something and if I manage to do that, yeah, I feel that same lightness. You know, and yeah, as I say, I've never been a spiritual person at all, but I, I don't know, like, for me, like this shit just seems to really really work.

Speaker 1:

All this energy and healing and, uh, getting rid of dark energy within you, you, you know it's very powerful stuff. You know I've got to say, or it's just like, you know, my partner, I really want him to feel that I care for him or whatever. I project that energy through my hand into him. You know, yeah, I don't know it's wild, I'm not a master of it and I've certainly got a lot more reading and discovery to do and I probably only know the tip of the iceberg of all this stuff.

Speaker 1:

But what I know is that if you can banish the resentment out of your heart and take the hatred away and only respond to hatred with love and compassion and understanding, say, look, I'm sorry you have to be this way, but I don't feel that way, you know and end that cycle of hatred and bickering. Or you know like, say, if an ex comes into your present with something nasty, you respond to that with I'm really sorry that you haven't let go yet. You know I've let go, like, please, I wish you all the very best, I don't wish anything bad for you, but please go your own way. You know, yeah, I think yeah, if you can respond in that very calm and loving and, you know, not hateful way, yeah, your life changes once you start to like, for instance, when I got my money, I did a lot of charity. Like I helped a friend out with a lawyer and I said you don't have to pay me back.

Speaker 1:

You know I, you know, was incredibly generous everywhere. Like I helped, like, you know, paid for everything in this household. I paid, paid for all the groceries, and at the time, like in past times when I was really selfish and greedy, I would have really resented that. But now, in the present time, I go. No, you do that.

Speaker 1:

You know you do that swings and roundabouts, you put good energy out into the universe, you do charity, you're generous and it will come back to you. You know, um, and you don't worry about what you're what you can't buy for yourself in the here and now. You know you, you do that and you will always get good fortune back. As long as you're doing good things with your money and you're helping others or you're investing in things that are going to go towards your future, then it will come back to you. Just believe in that. And yeah, look, I'm not there yet, but certainly I live a much better life now than what I used to live, a much better life now, um, than what I used to, uh, and and this stuff, this whole, yeah, buddhism energy thing, has really, really worked for me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, beyond just recovering from drug addiction, you know, um, in other areas and arenas in my life where I've done very poorly in times gone by, you know, it's like my ex-partner, like the father of my child. His car broke down once and I was like, okay, well, he was traveling up actually, here from Orange, um, at Christmas time to visit Miles for Christmas as a surprise and, um, his car broke down and I was like, okay, we need to get you another car. So I organized to get him another car, you know, and I bought him a car and that felt good doing that, you know doing something generous, so I didn't have to do, I did it, and so that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

If you do generous things and you are kind and you do charity, that's not giving money away, you know, and it's not being stupid, and it will come back to you. You know you will have more financial good fortunes in the future. If you project love out into the universe, you will get it back. If you project hate, resentment and nastiness, that's what you'll get back back. If you project hate, resentment and nastiness, that's what you'll get back. And if you want to change the course of your life, then I think that this kind of work is really powerful and it's not just helpful for people who are struggling with addiction or whatever. It's helpful for every human being, you know? Um, yeah, so that's all I really have to say today. I hope you gained some wisdom out of it or something positive from this Sending love and good thoughts out to all of you. Be kind to one another and forgive yourselves, and I will talk at you next time.