fitscapades
I went from successful specialist doctor in rural Australia to a homeless addict selling my body for drugs and almost dead to living in full recovery in a three story house 30 meters from the beach with my amazing gorgeous partner, my son, his son, our cat and dog. I am an addict in recovery, my story is quite unique and I didn't live it all only to have it untold as the dusts pass over my grave at the eventual end of my life. I want to give hope to addicts in pain, to their families who worry that true recovery is possible even when you are as bad as I was. I want to try to shift perception in the community that addicts are not a waste of time we are capable of recovery and are not lost causes. I have learned so much and gained so much wisdom walking this pathway to recovery it seems a shame not share this. The lessons I have learned are useful to everyone not just those challenged by addiction.
fitscapades
Trapped in the Cycle: What No One Tells You About Loving a Narcissist
There's a stark difference between true love and narcissistic supply – something I discovered through brutal personal experience. After hitting rock bottom as an addict without support, I welcomed what seemed like a miraculous rescue when a stranger offered shelter and connection. What followed was a masterclass in narcissistic relationship patterns that nearly destroyed me.
The relationship began with intense love bombing – declarations of devotion, promises of protection, and a sense that we were destined to save each other. But beneath this fantasy lurked a Jekyll and Hyde personality that would emerge without warning. One moment I'd be cherished; the next, I'd face cold contempt from someone who suddenly seemed like a complete stranger. This cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard created a powerful trauma bond that kept me desperate for the return of the "loving" version of my partner.
As my self-esteem eroded under constant criticism, I began to believe I was selfish, worthless, and incapable of recovery – despite maintaining sobriety and trying desperately to meet impossible standards. I share this story not just as a cautionary tale, but as a roadmap for anyone trapped in similar circumstances. The most valuable lesson I learned? When breaking free from a narcissist, don't try to prove your worth or success. The healthiest approach is to disappear completely, using the "gray rock" method to become as uninteresting as possible while rebuilding your life elsewhere.
This episode explores the patterns of narcissistic relationships, the psychology behind trauma bonding, and the challenging but possible journey toward healing. If my story resonates with you or someone you love, know that recovery is possible – but it begins with understanding exactly what you're dealing with.
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